Last week I talked about the structural and logistical part of getting support in your business. By that I mean hiring people to help you—you can start with one ;D—so that you, as the principal of your company, can focus on what only you can do—and to let others support you by handling the rest.
Yes, you can do this step by step, position by position. I certainly did. Not many of us went out and got a business loan of $100,000 or more so we could hire staff right away.
AND it is important to stretch and hire for where you are going. That includes what you need done at the moment, and thinking forward into the future to see what you’ll need not too far down the road so you can get someone(s) who can help you grow.
Now to today’s topic: the energy you have around support. Because underneath the matter of “do I have enough money to hire someone,” and even, “I like to do it myself so I can be in control of what happens,” is something subtle but very powerful. So powerful that you may not realize it’s there, even though it’s orchestrating your experience from beneath the level of your conscious mind.
This is what I mean.
For many, if not most people, your ability to ask for and receive support is greatly imprinted by your birth experience, and your very early life. When you’re coming into physical form, and into the earth world, you are totally dependent on the adults around you to protect you, provide for you, give you love and affection, keep you safe and warm, and teach you the ways of this place.
When I was working as a Clarity Breathwork® trainer and practitioner, I experienced myself and witnessed in many clients a range of imprints—which become limiting beliefs—that were created early in life depending on the situation that was happening in your family when you were born, and your own life lessons.
This is obviously a huge topic. I want to drill down into just a couple of common imprints that show up for and inhibit the ability of entrepreneurs to get the support that they need.
For example, if you were born prior to 1975, chances are you and your mother were drugged during your birth in ways that changed your consciousness. (Eighty percent of births before 1975 included drugs that affected both the mother and the baby.) This can translate into not trusting support—because your mother, who held you in her womb and is now birthing you suddenly “disappears” under the influence of a drug. You might take away from this that you are “on your own,” you have to “make your own way,” and that “no one is there for you.”
Another common birth imprint is that support is necessary but painful. This comes if your mother was in pain from procedures that were done to her, and procedures that were done to you after you were born. It was common for babies to be pulled out with forceps, slapped, tested, given collodial silver eye drops, and given shots within hours of their births. (Some of these practices continue to this day.) If you were breach or feet first, you might have been turned in the womb so that you could come out on your own (without a c-section), but that would have be painful to both you and your mother.
Given that these adults were your first caregivers, you might have concluded that support is necessary (thinking the best of them), but painful or uncomfortable. This could lead you to attract and experience support in painful or uncomfortable ways. Or it could lead you to aim to avoid support altogether in order to avoid pain and discomfort even though you know it could be helpful. Or you might be willing to have support, and you do hire/attract it, but it never seems to be quite the right kind of support. It always feels a bit off, and you can’t trust it.
All this goes on deep in your unconscious stemming from before you even have language. It sets a tone for your relationship with support, adults, and other people. And it creates a simple yet extremely powerful set of beliefs about the pros and cons of support.
There are many more examples I could give, but this is what we have space for.
I see this kind of thinking showing up in entrepreneurs all the time. The longing for support. The fear of support. The desire to let go and have others take over. The pushing away of support when it’s offered. The need for control. The belief you have to do it on your own—if it kills you. You get the idea.
So what does all of this have to do with you? Take a few minutes to ask yourself the following questions to see if you can get more clarity about your energy around support:
- Do I feel comfortable about asking for and receiving support?
- Am I skeptical that I need support?
- Do I like and appreciate the support I receive? Or do I always feel a bit off about it?
- Am I able to clearly ask for the support I need?
- Do I feel I deserve to have other people support me?
- Do I think I need to do everything on my own?
- Do I long for help, but seem to not let it in?
- When I do get support does it work out for me, or is it challenging?
Take a closer look at any of the places that you feel a charge when you answer these questions. Be honest with yourself. It can be very liberating just to see the patterned response to you have to support. Because once you see the pattern you can decide if you want to continue it or change it. And if you feel a charge around it, you know that there’s a trigger buried in there.
You can breathe about it, tap about, do hypnotherapy or NLP about it.
Awareness is always the first step. Take a look now.