Overwhelmed?

Do you ever feel overwhelmed?  This is pretty common these days with so much information available.  Never mind all the things to pay attention to—more apps, more music, more videos on YouTube, more people to friend on Facebook, more TV stations, more books available on Kindle, more ways to market your business—the list goes on and goes.  In one way it makes perfect sense if you feel overwhelmed, doesn’t it?

I’d like to present you with a different view, which I think gets more to the heart of the matter.  I mean, yes, I agree that here in the US in particular, our world is getting more and more complex as technology creates more and more opportunities.  But that’s only part of the issue. 

The thing is that it’s possible to feel overwhelmed in any situation—or not overwhelmed in any situation—depending on your perspective.  It’s a matter of how you respond to what’s happening, what your ability to respond is based on your experience and your consciousness, than on what is actually happening.

I know that might be difficult to believe, but if you think about different times in your own life, or different people you know, and how either you or they have responded to various situations, you’ll see what I mean.

~>  So why is this?  What is the source of the overwhelm, if it’s not the circumstances?

Overwhelm is a hallmark of the Child archetype (one of at least six survival archetypes that we all share).  The Child gets overwhelmed because this part of you (we all have this) is not an adult, and is not equipped to deal with adult life.  The issues arise when you are stimulated by circumstances or people in ways that activate that child consciousness within you.  Pretty much all of us have this happen from time to time—some of us more habitually and powerfully than others.  And it’s a part of self that still lives at that earlier stage of development, and can feel lost, overwhelmed, abandoned, wounded, alone, or confused—typically because there wasn’t adequate parenting.

At moments like this I like to quote Adyashanti, when he says:  “It’s miraculous that we are all doing as well as we are considering we were all raised by inmates in the asylum.”

(None of us truly got all the parenting that we needed or deserved.  Not at least as far as I can tell after years and years of self inquiry and working with clients.)

What this means for you in your business is that when something is new, or challenging, or requires you to show up in ways that are unfamiliar to you, your child can get stimulated.  You didn’t get the help you needed when you were young when these experiences came around the first time.  And now here they are again and that child inside still thinks she’s _____________ (fill in the blank) (alone, abandoned, berated, etc.). 

I see the Child come up with people in relation to their businesses all the time.  And it really makes sense when you consider that very few service providers really get the training they need in order to do well in business.   That is a perfect scenario for the Child to get activated—without adequate training and guidance, the Child feels overwhelmed, confused, lost, and alone.  And to make matters worse, this can also lead to you beating up on yourself for feeling this way! 

Here are some examples of how the Child shows up in your business:

• You want people to just get what you do and become attracted to it, so that clients come easily almost magically (magical thinking).
  
• You keep pushing away assistance and rebelling against other people’s opinions, even while inside longing for support and guidance (inner teenager).
• You feel confused and without words about how to describe or explain what you do and end up saying either not very much, or a lot about your modality or your process because you know about that (but not about how to market yourself).
  
• You want keep reading and researching, but then either
  
  • it feels like too much and you don’t want to deal with it, or
    
  • you don’t know where to start, or how to stay focused, or what order to do things in to get the results you are looking for.
• You really want someone else to do the marketing and sales for you.  You resist getting help through coaching because
  
  • you are unfamiliar with the idea (no one taught you about it)
    
  • you think you should be able to do it on your own (survival instinct)
    
  • you don’t have faith you can make the money, so see it as an expense, not an investment.
    
• You don’t feel comfortable and confident speaking about results because you “can’t promise” what people will do (lack of clarity about responsibility).
  

So what can you do, if you recognize the Child in you?

The Child needs guidance and support.  Children really are not meant to deal with an adult world.  They do not have a mature consciousness yet (as smart and lovely as they are).  So your Child arises when you are reminded of having to be too much of an adult at too early and age—and you get overwhelmed.

For service professionals it’s super important to get the training and guidance you need to build a business because chances are your school or training program did not provide that.  AND then you have to accept that support when it’s offered, rather than resisting it like a teenager (and making your coach or instructor into an evil parent!). 

Ask and receive so your adult self gets what she needs and can truly be in charge in an empowered way.  And then send your Child out to play, where she belongs!