Do you ever feel overwhelmed? This is pretty common these days with so much information available. Never mind all the things to pay attention to–more apps, more music, more videos on YouTube, more people to friend on Facebook, more TV stations, more books available on Kindle, more ways to market your business–the list goes on and goes. In one way it makes perfect sense if you feel overwhelmed, doesn’t it?
I’d like to present you with a different view, which I think gets more to the heart of the matter. I mean, yes, I agree that here in the US in particular, our world is getting more and more complex as technology creates more and more opportunities. But that’s only part of the issue.
The thing is that it’s possible to feel overwhelmed in any situation–or not overwhelmed in any situation, depending on your perspective. It’s more a matter of how you respond to what’s happening, what your ability to respond is based on your experience and your consciousness, than on what is actually happening.
I know that might be difficult to believe, but if you think about different times in your own life, or different people you know, and how they’ve responded to situations, you’ll see what I mean.
So why is this? What is the source of the overwhelm, if it’s not the circumstances?
Overwhelm is a hallmark of the Child archetype, one of five survival archetypes that we all share. The Child gets overwhelmed because this is a child consciousness–literally the level of development that you had at a certain point as a child. I don’t have space to go into detail here about this (you’ll have to wait for my forthcoming book for that!). But the point is that, as a child, at some point you did not get the guidance and support you needed, and you felt overwhelmed by the situation. You may have felt lost, overwhelmed, abandoned, wounded, alone, or confused. Virtually everyone has some experience of this, and depending on the severity of the experience, it can stay with you throughout your life, sometimes under the surface, sometimes on the top.
I see the Child come up with people in relation to their businesses all the time. And it really makes sense when you consider that very few service providers really get the training they need in order to do well in business. That is a perfect scenario for the Child to get activated–without adequate training and guidance, the Child feels overwhelmed, confused, lost, and alone. And to make matters worse, this can also lead to you beating up on yourself for feeling this way!
Here are some examples of how the Child shows up in your business:
- You want people to just get what you do and become attracted to it, so that clients come easily, almost magically (magical thinking).
- You keep pushing away assistance and rebelling against other people’s opinions, even while inside longing for support and guidance (inner teenager).
- You feel confused and without words about how to describe or explain what you do and end up saying either not very much, or a lot about your modality or your process because you know about that (but not about how to market yourself).
- You want keep reading and researching, but then either
- it feels like too much and you don’t want to deal with it, or
- you don’t know where to start, or how to stay focused, or what order to do things in to get the results you are looking for.
- You really want someone else to do the marketing and sales for. You resist getting help through coaching because
- you are unfamiliar with the idea (no one taught you about it)
- you think you should be able to do it on your own (survival instinct)
- you don’t have faith you can make the money, so see it as an expense, not an investment.
- You don’t feel comfortable and confident speaking about results because you “can’t promise” what people will do (lack of clarity about responsibility).
So what can you do, if you recognize the Child in you?
The Child needs guidance and support. Children really are not meant to deal with an adult world. They do not have a mature consciousness yet (as smart and lovely as they are). So your Child arises when you are reminded of having to be too much of an adult at too early and age–and you get overwhelmed.
For service professionals, it’s super important to get the training and guidance you need to build a business because chances are your school or training program did not provide that. AND then you have to accept that support when it’s offered, rather than resisting it like a teenager.
Ask and receive so your adult self gets what she needs and can truly be in charge in an empowered way. And then send your Child out to play, where she belongs!